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Little do they know how much I look up to them 

Little do they know that I’m the one who looks up to my children. How brave and loving and non selfish they have become. 

It’s not a normal situation to live in having your youngest two siblings be so ill.  Yes they still whinge and argue and little mr who is in heart failure is so bossy and he gets told off when he pushes there buttons. 

I never wanted my older children to feel that just because the younger two are sick that they didn’t have discipline or rules. I have seen SO many families with one sick child tell there non sick children to just deal with it coz this child is sick and they get anyway with bad tempers behaviours and nasty crap.  I refuse to let my child think it’s a ticket to be nasty or selfish. 

One thing that upset my older daughter one day was when she was attending hospital school as we live three hours away from the hospital and it was a long stay (over four months) she was attending with sick kids and siblings and one child only a year younger than her threw a book at another child’s face and she said the teacher went off at him and he yelled “I have cancer you can’t get angry at me” 

From that she got up and left the room and didn’t want to go back. 

Over the following days I heard this child say the same thing everytime he was in trouble for being cruel to others. Was this a taught behaviour from his parents or was this child not coping ? It can be looked at both ways. 

I felt sad for him but also felt sad for his victims. Sad that he and his family still hadn’t found positivity out of this negative life card dealt. 

I have accepted I can’t change my children’s diagnosis BUT my outlook and way I treat and behave about it can be positive 

You gain so much knowledge and meet such beautiful families along your journey. The learning and exposure to things is traumatic yet inspiring. 

Your children become your hero. 

You look at them with such pride and joy and love. You wished things could have been easier but not different as this is how they became so humble and so tolerant. This is how they learnt to see through and past ideologies. This is what makes us different and what makes me totally proud to say these are my wonderful children..

Master 4  the one who is in heart failure said to me the other day 

“Mum, you go have a rest in bed. I will look after A ” 

Sister who is disabled 

So adorable. He often says quick something’s wrong with A please come check. And she will be making babing noises excited he is playing around her. 

This is where I say I am the lucky one. Yes it’s hard and yes it hurts like crazy but I’m the one living this beautiful hard life and watching these awesome children turn into such loving kind caring teens 

I am proud to say my kids Rock! 

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I'm a mum of four who loves my kids but juggles some amazingly hard battles with disability and illness with two of my children. Sleep deprivation, time and being Homebound you will hear about many issues I face daily but mostly with a positive view. I just need somewhere to vent So thanks in advance if you even bother to read my mumble jumble

4 Comments

  1. Julie Sheridan says

    Beautiful , I treat all children the same even if I don’t like there parents

    Like

  2. Bree says

    I’m so glad you’ve been able to start writing like this. You work tirelessly to look after your precious children, and I think you are very inspirational.

    Liked by 1 person

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