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How much do you tell them?

Sadly I have come across many families who have had a child who is terminally ill or already passed away and I wonder and I sometimes ask 

How much did you tell them about there illness and dying?

I know it would have to be age appropriate and open to many or no questions the child may have. I find myself battling this conversation with myself on many levels and I will say to master 4 somedays, you do realise your body is sick inside and that’s why you can’t breathe well or run around like other kids? And he will say oh yeah I know but I’m not sick.

I have a huge fear of not telling him enough about the after life and what happens if he passes and I haven’t told him ? 
I am not a religious person but I feel saying god is ok. 
I want him to feel that it’s just a journey as he is four and that our body is like a vechicle and sadly sometimes our bodies get sick and die but our souls move on to somewhere better and beautiful. Full of all beautiful things and everything we like and we are never alone. We have cuppa teas with nana and pop and uncles and aunts and see unicorns and minions running around. We play and eat whatever we want and it doesn’t hurt to breathe and we don’t get puffed out. We don’t need our bodies our souls are happy and can do anything. 

See I just want to avoid any fear that is associated with death. I also believe this is to help me to not just him. 
I know my fears are way bigger than his, I don’t think he has any fears on death as he still has no understanding of the concept. 

This may seem like crazy talk but it’s a huge issue for parents facing death for a child or children. 

I have some very dear friends who has sadly lost children, everyone has a different story and everyone as shattering as the next. 

These dear friends I have, 



have no idea how much they mean to me and how much strength they give me. Since meeting them, many online in support groups my life hasn’t been so alone. 
I have one friend in particular who has saved my sanity so many times and in the middle of the night. She has inspired me through her horrible painful beyond comprehendable death of her son. She has been my positive when everything else has failed. She has been my rock a true friend. I just want her to know how special and thankful I will be forever. 
And all my other close friends your journey through heart ache makes me fight more each day. Helps me wake up each morning being thankful. I have learnt to be thankful and be honest and allow myself to wallow. Thanks K ! 
Friends come from all places and kinds of backgrounds yet we all feel the same pain and love for our kids. Sadly most of mY dear friends have already been through the heart ache I’m trying to avoid. 
Many had no time to speak or warn there loved ones about death as it just came and took them suddenly. 
Thats why I think this prep for death as you could call it is so important 

something no one should have to do 
Ever 

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I'm a mum of four who loves my kids but juggles some amazingly hard battles with disability and illness with two of my children. Sleep deprivation, time and being Homebound you will hear about many issues I face daily but mostly with a positive view. I just need somewhere to vent So thanks in advance if you even bother to read my mumble jumble

1 Comment

  1. Oh Jo. I can’t even comprehend having to tell a child those kinds of things with the purpose being because it’s happening to them. I so wish things could be different x

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