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Prep for the next stage 

How do we prepare ourselves with facing our biggest fears? 

My sons open heart surgery is coming up and yes he has had years of surgeries and faced many medical hurdles cardiac wise however this time round this one really is hard. 

I feel bad for accepting the actual date of surgery thinking what if something goes wrong and it’s all because I picked the wrong day. What if I decided to postpone for another few months. The what if’s drive me insane. 

Then

I think I end up self talking myself into accepting this and positive thoughts flow. It’s such a strange mixed up emotional time. 

Packing and writing practical lists helps. Focusing on the practicals probably makes you survive these tense unknown times. 

Planning beyond the surgery date is non existent, it’s like life stops that day until we know how surgery goes. Not one appointment or social activity had made it to the diary. 

Lift literally stops on that day. It stops as long as the critical faze of recovery takes. Being hours,days weeks or months. 

Basic needs will only just be met. Survival kicks in. Protector mode too. 

There is no easy way to prepare there is no easier time even if it’s your 10th surgery or your first those feelings are still so up and down and frightening 

  

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I'm a mum of four who loves my kids but juggles some amazingly hard battles with disability and illness with two of my children. Sleep deprivation, time and being Homebound you will hear about many issues I face daily but mostly with a positive view. I just need somewhere to vent So thanks in advance if you even bother to read my mumble jumble

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