Exhaustion 

Last night the kids slept well. I only had to get up at 4,6 and 8am for medications,nappy change and peg flush. Then managed to slip back to bed til 10am whilst kids also slept in. 

That sleep in has ruined me! 

I’m beyond tired. I’m cranky and clumsy. I am use to living off little sleep so this doesn’t often happen but when it does it hits so hard. I managed to get up and cook bacon and eggs on toast for us all for breakfast. But since then the clumsyness is making me drop things and walk into things. It is funny but I don’t see the funny side today. 

I just want to go to bed yet I can’t. 

I can’t just go to bed because my daughter who is 7 (don’t mean to be rude but my disabled daughter with high needs) needs me 100% off the time. With her seizures being so frequent I don’t want to leave it to Chance and ask the kids to keep an eye on her. I also have a birthday to prep for tomorrow. As master Wil is turning 5 and we are making a octopod cake (Octonauts massive fan) 

   
 
Pinterest posts above to give me an idea of what it should look like. 

Fingers and toes crossed it works.

I’m also a little depressed about the fact that he has never had a birthday party and we still don’t know anyone here to invite with kids his ages as we spend at least half the year in a different state being in hospital. So I actually feel guilty. 

We will be setting up a jumping castle and decorating the back yard for a mini Octonauts party just with us and his father and grandfather. When the older two kids were little they had parties every year with children of all ages as we knew so many neighbours with kids. Here we don’t. I am hoping next year he will have an awesome 6th birthday with school friends. 

I’m juggling miss 7 with her current internal bleeding again to. I just feel everything just becomes to much sometimes. Wil has just had his Fontan cardiac surgery and now to celebrate his birthday then ten days later Christmas and then in between the medical issues we balance , epilepsy, bleeding, heart disease, quadriplegic cerebral palsy, osteopenia (brittle bones), complex disability. 

Don’t get me wrong I love my life and my children but days like this are hard long days. 

Word of advise to self! 

Never ever try sleep in, it makes you  a thousand times worse off 

  And the ramble is garbage and I could laugh cry and sleep all at once 

Then it’s best to leave it and pray tomorrow comes fast